I think that I may have gained at least two pounds yesterday. Really! I think that I may have eaten 7,000 calories in one day (okay, after writing it out that seems high...but the scale was about two pounds less yesterday) I'm ashamed of everything that I ate in this 24 hour timespan. But, in the spirit of full disclosure, I'm going to put it out there. Oh God, here goes: light popcorn with melted margarine and salt (would have been somewhat healthy if I didn't feel the need to pour on extra fat), graham crackers with peanut butter, two spring rolls (both a decent size), an entire dish of Pad See U (I am sure the dish was meant to serve four...maybe two...I don't know, definitely too much for one person), a bite-sized Kit Kat (2 small sticks), another bite-sized Kit Kat broken up on top of graham crackers with peanut butter. Gross...so much food! I woke up this morning still full. I actually don't think that I've woken up hungry in weeks.
Okay, so Day One is here! I don't feel that great feeling of motivation. I feel like today will have to be a day of detox. No coffee...no "whites"...easing myself into this whole healthy foods thing. I'm definitely not craving unhealthy foods. I'm not craving anything. I'm full and gassy and bloated and ashamed. I have no real energy...and I woke up with a dull headache (for the second morning in a row). I want to remember this feeling. I want to remember how crappy it feels to be unhealthy. I think they would call this a "food hangover."
So, let's talk numbers. If my computer hadn't just gotten it's second stupid virus in two freakin' weeks, I would be putting this on a cute little graph. But since I will be writing entries using my big old thumb on my itty bitty iPhone for awhile, I had to forego any cuteness (and spell check) and settle for what I've got. (Sorry for the tangent but I'm really upset about my laptop and I felt the need to add that in there). Okay...numbers. Today, the scale read 139.2 lbs, 28.8% of fat, and 49.8% hydration. I'm not really sure what the hydration rate really means...but it's never been that low. But I do know what the other two numbers are...and they have not been that high in years. 140 pounds on my 5'0" frame is not a good look for me. My BMI (which I don't have handy right now) would say that I'm 5 lbs from being at the high end of a normal weight for my height. Right now I am officially overweight. I may need to change my weight loss goal to 25 lbs. I'll play it by ear for now.
So, the first step is to go to the grocery store. I typed up a two week meal plan and a grocery list yesterday (before my computer died) and I need to find some energy to actually get up and go. Grocery shopping is probably one of the most important practices for becoming "that girl" for me. I actually think "that girl" stops at the grocery store every couple of nights to pick up a few things...this way everything is fresh. I'm so not "that girl." It's not that I dislike grocery shopping, it just becomes monotonous week after week. Hopefully, I can get everything that I need for the next two weeks and I will only have to go twice a month...very doable. So, I'm about to fight the urge to turn on the TV and I'm headed to Kroger (no Whole Foods yet...baby steps).
P.S. Sorry about the lack of pictures. If I was doing this right, I would include a nice, big, ole fat picture of me. Chunky thighs, big hips, meaty arms, cellulite, etc. But I'm not there yet as far as blogging. I'm not ready to unveil my "jiggly parts" for the world to see. Maybe at a later date...when they are not so jiggly. I WILL try to include measurements a little later though. Okay, I've really gotta go before I just sit back here and get caught up in a Law and Order SVU marathon. To Kroger...