It's a process...

My last post was sad and defeating.  Since then, I have been on a downward spiral.  I think that I can honestly say that I have eaten out or food from a restaurant every day since the last week in June.  No lie.  This habit has been expensive and has been detrimental to my waistline.

I don't know how it all started.  Last April, I decided to give up alcohol, sugar, and desserts for Lent.  It resulted in about a ten pound weight loss in about eight weeks or so.  So, the end of the school year came and it was supposed to be Operation Yoga.  I had bought all these Living Social and Groupon coupons...I was off from teaching...I was running...I was so ready to hit this workout thing hard. 

Then, I went into dissertation hibernation.  Four or so weeks of getting up...reading...writing...get up...read...write...get up...you get the point.  Absolutely miserable.  It sucked the life out of me.  I wanted to spend my summer in downward dog and here I was sitting on my couch being miserable.  But in the end, I turned in my chapter (I was trying to get three done...but one was all I could muster up).

And then there was the honeymoon.  Seven days of drinking and eating and drinking and eating and drinking and...again, you get the point. 

Coming back off of that I was ALL downhill.  The Border, A.J.'s, Great Wall, Red Lobster, Mazzy's...repeat.  If it was bad for me...I'd order it.  It went against everything that I have been trying to do for the past two or three years.

One good thing that happened in this time is that I quit smoking...for good.  At times, I would blame my bottomless appetite on this.  But after awhile, I couldn't blame my gluttony on my lack of cigarettes. 

The ten pounds came back slowly...especially considering how much I was eating.  I am officially back to where I was last April.  Each Monday that came, I literally said that I was starting over.  I was THAT girl.  The "I'm Starting on Monday" girl...how cliche is that?!?!

But Monday would come and by Tuesday, I would be sitting across from my husband looking at a waitress and ordering a glass of Reisling with something fried.

Part of the problem is that I had a really stressful start to the school year.  The beginning of the year is always hard, but this has been unprecedented.

Another problem (or at least I think it is a problem) is that I have trying to go against personality type.  I've been trying to take a more laid back approach.  I was still planning out meal, but I didn't want to count calories or step on the scale every week.  I wanted to be more balanced. 

When I stepped into the fitting room at the Gap last weekend, I realized balanced hasn't been working for me.  I am Type A...and my Type A personality has helped me be successful in weight loss in the past...so I decided today that it was time to look at the things that made me successful in the past and bring them back.

1.  Tracking calories.  First it was selfdietclub.com...then it was sparkpeople.com.  I don't know what it is, but counting calories works for me.  It's super time consuming and I would annoyingly track EVERYTHING that I put in my mouth, but it did work.

2.  Planning my meals.  I never stopped planning my meals...even over the past three months of eating out.  I just didn't follow the meal plan.  It ended up with lots of wasted food (and more money down the drain).  I've gotten better at preparing meals on Sunday and packing lunch each day...I just need to get better at making dinner in the evening.  That seems to be where I'm going wrong.

3.  Exercise.  This has been the thing that I have beat myself up most about.  In the past three months, I have probably worked out maybe ten times.  It makes me feel really bad...especially when I remember how good exercise makes me feel.  A co-worker now goes to hot yoga all the time...without me.  And one of my friends just started running and has been doing a whole bunch of 5Ks...without me.  The co-workers that I used to work out with after school have started working out again...without me.  I need to start moving.  I've been making a workout schedule for the past couple of weeks...I just haven't been following it...kind of like the food thing.  Anyway, I need to work out and I need to track my workouts. 

4.  Guidelines.  I work better with guidelines.  No whites...no caffeine...no desserts.  I need guidelines to follow to keep me on track.  Last Sunday, I told myself that I would eat none of the above things on Sundays through Thursdays...I had a drink in my hand and nachos in my belly by Wednesday night.  This is week two of guidelines...actually, I guess I should just call it week one...

5.  Weigh ins.  I have a love/hate relationship with weigh ins.  I'm a weekly weigh in girl...I like to see my progress on a graph or a chart.  I like to see that what I have been doing shows on the scale.  BUT with that said, that last weigh in REALLY got me off track...and it has been damn near impossible to get back on track again.  I am still undecided about weigh ins...but I do know they have worked in the past.

6.  All things blogs.  That includes blogging and bloggers.  I pretty much quit blogging and following all of my healthy living blogs cold turkey after that last weigh in.  I would check in on a couple of my favorites every now and then, but for the most part, I didn't think there was any reason to read them because I wasn't living that life style.  It just made me sad.  Why do I want to read about someone running 5 miles after work while my fat ass is sitting on the couch.  But as I've written before, I think that it is somewhat inspirational...it's the if "they" can do it I can do it kinda thing.  I might do a little blog stalking this week to help get me motivated.

And that's about it.  Those have been the six things that have helped me lose weight in the past.  And honestly, in the past, it wasn't all about losing weight...it was about living healthy.  Maybe that's where I've gone wrong.  Since my focus has been on losing weight...I feel panicked and overwhelmed by it.  As oppose to healthy living, that just something that is.  You did it for yourself...for your body...for motivation...and for confidence (and so that you can fit into your clothes).  So, with that being said, I've decided to leave out number 5...no weigh ins.  Not weekly at least.  I'll weigh myself tomorrow...and then I'll weigh myself again in a month.

Writing this has helped me feel a little motivated.  It's cathartic in a way.  Admitting my dirty little dining out secret...and realizing that stress has brought a lot of this on.  AND realizing that I have only been off of the wagon for three months (Its felt like a lifetime).  Anyway,  I have felt like I have become closer to being back on track in the past couple of weeks.  I need to remember that this whole thing is a process...

Welcome back to my calorie-counting, exercising, healthy living, blog following, meal planning, conscious living self...you've been missed:)

I Need a Garmin!!!

So, my fiance got some bad news about a friend last night and didn't really have an appetite for anything...even froyo!!  So, we stayed in, watched college football (like the rest of the freakin' world), and around 9:30 pm ordered a pizza (I know, way too late to eat.  But he got his appetite back and I felt that I should make the sacrifice, if pizza is what he needed to make him feel better.)

This is what's left of the pizza.

I had two pieces.  My fiance...well, he had the rest.  A little emotional eating never killed anyone, right?!?! (or has it!?!?)  Anyway, there were only 8 pieces total...and I'm the one that made what was left of the pizza that weird shape that it is in now (missing the crust and a little on the right hand side...I guess I should say that I had two and a half pieces).

The night actually turned out okay...even without froyo.

I woke up bright and early this morning and decided that I wanted to run...outside!!!  The weather has been soooo nice and since I'll be running the Vinings Downhill 5K next Saturday (Thanks, Lee!), I should probably get my butt off the treadmill and on to the sidewalk.

The run was okay.  I did about 4 miles (I have yet to get a Garmin, so I don't have a pace breakdown or anything fancy like that).  My pace for the whole run was 14:15 (Don't laugh!).  I did a 5-8 minute warm up walk and a 5-8 minute cool down walk....and I walked a minute or four in between.  I really need a Garmin!

Post run glow:)

I was feeling so good that I decided to keep going.  Inhale with Steve Ross!!  Love him!

Post yoga glow:)

This is the best part!!!  Savasana!!

So now, my fiance and I are headed to the mall for some Labor Day shopping.  We were supposed to go to the North Georgia Premium Outlets, but I was not excited about the drive...or the stores.  So off to Perimeter.

Oh!  Before I go...look what happened to Carson!!

He got a haircut!

It was definitely not his best haircut...but he was so matted that they had to go low (I'm a bad mom...I know!)  The lady left his fur around his mouth/cheeks so long...we've been calling him "Chops" and "Jowls."  It'll grow back...but he looks pretty terrible right now.

Okay...off to the mall!!!:)

Goodbye Lil Crispy Shrimp Taco, Hello Froyo!!

Yesterday, I overindulged.  BIG TIME! I think that I almost ate a whole pound (3500 calories...well, not that much, but close!)

The day started normally with a smoothie and some coffee.  I had a vegan burger for lunch and an apple and peanut butter dip for a snack.

Then it was time for dinner.  I wanted to take my fiance to the restaurant where we are planning to have my shower.  I went there this past Wednesday and the food was really good and the margaritas were AMAZING!

Since we were near my mom's, we stopped by her house first and picked up her new grill from Home Depot.  After grill set-up and some chit-chat, I was STARVING!!!...and more than ready to eat.  (When I'm really hungry, I get extra grumpy.  I'm not sweet...not at all.)  Anyway, I was feeling like "not-sweet" Carla and I needed some food.  So we headed to INC Autentico Street Food for some Latin yumminess!!!!

The food was great...the drinks were yummy and the crowd was...uh, middle aged.  Let's just say it wasn't our crowd...which kinda sucks because I LOVE everything else about this place.  The graffiti on the walls...the kitchen that looks like a food truck...the garage door that opens up to the back patio.  It's a really fun place...with good food and drinks!

I got crispy shrimp tacos and a Texas margarita.  The tacos were awesome-sauce!!!...even better than the ahi tuna tacos that I had there the other night.  They double up their corn tortillas...which means double the calories...but hey, whatever...it was my splurge night.  I ate one and a half of the three tacos on my plate...and my fiance finished a half.  One whole taco was boxed up to go (to be continued on the fate of that third taco).

Anyway, we ate and got the hell out of left downtown Roswell.  We decided to hit up Friday's for a lil Brownie Obsession and another drink.  The brownie was super sweet...we didn't even finish the whole thing.  I got a glass of Reisling...and followed that with some water (even though my fiance got another drink....this rarely happens.  We usually go toe to toe with our drinks.)

Anyway, everything was going well...I wasn't stuffed.  We had a great night...big fun and all.  Then we got home...and I don't know what really came over me.  I don't know if it was the alcohol that had my inhibitions down...or if it was just an old habit coming back...but I did it.  I went into that little styrofoam box and devoured that last little crispy shrimp taco.  It started with one bite...then another...then another.  Then the taco was gone (R.I.P. lil taco)...and I felt HORRIBLE!!!!  Full and ashamed.

When I got up this morning, I felt like crap.  I don't know if it was a hangover or the shame that I felt from yesterday's binge.  I ran some errands...one of which included me taking a four mile walk while I waited for my tire and oil change.

During my walk, I felt pretty good.  It was a GORGEOUS day!!!!  But when I got home, a headache came home with me:(  I had a green monster (cause that's what everyone else says cures their hangovers)...but it didn't help.  And now, I've wasted this whole beautiful day feeling like crap.

My fiance wants to get out, but I feel so blah and complacent.  I just want this headache to go away.  (I think this is the place where I'm supposed to swear off alcohol forever...but let's not hold our breath...we both know that's not happening).  Anyway, I feel guilty that I am not out enjoying this Labor Day weekend with my husband-to-be.

His friend's wife and her sister are in town...and I'm tempted to tell him to just go out with them without me.  That will leave me here to mope by myself.  Maybe a shower will make me feel better (Yes, its 5:30 pm and I have yet to take a shower...don't judge!)  Or maybe froyo will help!!!  That's something we can do together and outside!

Okay.  I'm off to suggest it...Pinkberry, TCBY, Yofuria, Jujubee's, Yogli Mogli, Yoreka, Planet Living...so many choices!  Let's see if he wants to go.  Yay!!!  Yogurt makes everything better!!!

Splurge Day!

So, yesterday I had lunch with a couple of my friends from work and it ended up becoming a splurge day!  We had a pre-drink at my house and then we were off to my fiance and my favorite Mexican restaurant (it's actually where he proposed).

I didn't get any pics of lunch (taking a picture or my food is such an afterthought for me).  But guess where we went afterwards...?

...Pinkberry!!! 

This was my very first trip...and we were super excited!!!

 

Not a great hair day...but this has pretty much been my look all summer.

I got a small original with yogurt chips, chocolate chips and strawberries.   In terms of taste...it was pretty refreshing.  But it was also pretty tart...which I wasn't crazy about.  But of course, I finished it all.

 

It was a fun trip!  Nice to have ice cream on a random Monday afternoon.  I'm not sure if I'm as hooked as everyone else.  Maybe it was just the original flavor...but it didn't really taste like old school frozen yogurt.

Another draw back was the calories.  When I went home to log my calories, I got a huge shock.  Each 1/2 cup was 100 calories...making a small serving (which is 1.5 cups) 300 calories!!!!  Then when you add my topping...my stupid dessert ended up being 490 calories!!!!  For some lowfat yogurt!!!!  If I go again, I definitely order the mini...and I stick to fruit toppings (Didn't love the yogurt chips anyway)!