Saturday, June 19, 2010

Dressing Room Mirrors Are NOT my Friend!!!

Just came back from Target with my mother.  We both tried on the same dressing room (as this is how she likes to do it).  Before I go on, I must tell you something about my mother.  My mother and I are the same height and she weighs almost 30 lbs less than me.  Since I was a teenager, I have weighed more than my mother.  It has only been in the past 8 or 9 years that I have weighed A LOT more than my mother.  It is such a crappy feeling to pick up a size 8 and 10, while she grabs her 0 and 2.  Mothers are supposed to be bigger than their daughters.  I'M supposed to be grabbing the small size...especially since I have yet to have a child myself.  But no...not me.

So, let me take you back to the Target fitting room.  I was trying on shorts from Target with my itty bitty mother and I caught a was a terrible glimpse.  First, let me back up again.  Target is nice enough to not only have a dressing room mirror on one side of the room...but they have mirrors on BOTH sides of the room....providing a 360 degree look at yourself as you try on their clothing. So, as I was looking to see if the size 10 white shorts fit...I looked and saw my behind in the back mirror.!  I was in shock...rendered speechless actually.  My behind was so wide and unattractive that I couldn't believe it.  I would have started crying if my tiny little mother wasn't there.  I looked once...then I looked again.  It was truly horrific.  I looked up at her in the size 2 shorts that were falling off her body to see if she saw it too.  She was too busy snapping her pants and saying something about, "Target clothes never fit me right." I nod.  Me neither, I think to myself.  I quickly take the shorts off, and push down those feelings of disgust with myself and envy for her.  I feel dizzy.

Why did I let myself get this big?  How did this happen to me?  Will it ever be different?  Will I ever be small like her?  How, how, how?!!?!  When, when, when!?!?   

As she drove off, after dropping me at home, I opened the plastic container of the leftover Thai food that we had just eaten for lunch and I dug in.  Three heaping for every size bigger I am than her.  God, I hate dressing room mirrors!


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