#^$&ing Scale!!!

Okay...so I'm feeling pretty good about my workouts this week.  I know that I haven't been as good as I could have been with my food schedule, BUT I also know that I have been a lot better than I used to be when I was eating out at every meal.  I was actually feeling pretty confident.  I felt like my body looked a little different.  Nothing major...but I just knew that I could see my arms changing.  The muscles were coming in.

So, I got up this Sunday morning and got on the scale.  Yes, I did eat later than usual...but if I could actually SEE the changes, I knew that the scale would too.  Here's what I got...

DATE      WEIGHT          BODY FAT (%)        HYDRATION (%)        BMI

 5/31           138.4                   28.6                             49.9                        27.0 

 6/13           137.2                   28.2                             50.2                        26.8
            

That's nothing!!!  I could have lost that much by having a good BM!!!!  1.2 POUNDS!!!! That is NOT acceptable.  I can't even blame it on gaining muscle.  My body fat practically stayed the same!!!!!  I haven't eaten ANY pizza, no Chinese food...not even any Starbucks!  And all I have to show for it is 1.2 lbs.  Maybe it's the stress.  Like on Biggest Loser when they have a stressful week and they only lose one pound.  Maybe it's like that.  AND to add insult to injury, I just went back to my entry from last Tuesday and I was at 136.0 lbs!!!!!  Really, what gives??!

This is VERY discouraging.  The more that I write the more upset I get about it.  I'm trying to be good.  I'm trying to stay away from diet pills and fad diets.  I'm trying to do this my way...I'm trying to find balance.  But with balance comes NO weight loss.  I have to be a food Nazi to even get the scale to budge.  What am I supposed to do?

I am going to hang in there.  I know that I haven't been sticking to my food cut off times.  And over the past two days my portions have been a little...just a little generous.  I really need to try to follow that whole stop when you feel full thing and I need to slow down.  I really have been trying, but I suppose that it's a process.

I still don't think that I want to journal what I eat.  Though it is recommended, it seems unnatural.  I can't imagine recording everything that I eat for the rest of my life.  I'm trying to do this in the most natural way possible.

As far as exercising, I'm going to hang in there.  At least I have been keeping up with that.  I haven't officially had a whole week of my new training schedule....so, maybe that will help.

I'm going to end this...cause like I said, I keep getting more and more sad the more that I write.  Two freakin' weeks lost!!!!!  I have seven more weeks left for summer break.  My goal is to lose 12.2 lbs.  It seems pretty ambitious (that's almost two pounds a week!)...but I really want to be at 125 lbs at the beginning of the school year.

*SIGH*  I'm very sad.