Saturday, July 31, 2010

These Are My Confessions

I watched Usher's Behind the Music yesterday on VH1 and "Confessions" suddenly popped into my head right before I logged in.  I'm not a huge Usher fan, but I felt compelled to DVR the show about a week ago...bored I watched it yesterday.  Kind of interesting...especially the part about him and Chili.

Anyway, I have a couple of confessions to make this morning.

1.  Though my outlook has been much healthier these days, I still harbor some body image and food issues.  I woke up this morning thinking that I needed to restrict my diet more, eat more salads, and maybe up my exercise.  This all came on because I am sooooooo impatient for weight loss.  In actuality, I know I should not eat any less...and I don't think that I can exercise any more than I do (especially once school starts).  I'm gonna blame this one on TOM.

2.  I miss my scale...just a little.  My scale used to make me feel skinny...and he also made me feel fat.  And that is why he has been banished.  But I have looked at the empty space several times in the past couple of days and I thought about the fact that I would have hopped on by now.  (I think it is funny that I refer to my scale as a "he"...I wonder what that says about me psychologically).

3.  I'm a perfectionist.  As I was putting labels on my save the date envelopes last night, I realized that I would probably not want any help with them because I would want them to be just right.   This is the attitude that I have with a lot of stuff...especially at work.  It's good and bad...I usually like the finished product, but it is always a lot of work on me.

4.  I don't sleep well alone.  My fiance wasn't here last night and I had a horrible night's sleep.  Carson doesn't sleep well without him either.  He barks at stuff in the middle of the night (I think he always thinks its him coming home)...and that in turn scares me because I think that someone is here.  I am super scary in general (...that should be another confession).

5.  I'm a procrastinator...big time.  It used to be that I thought that I worked better under I feel like it may have turned into an all out fear of getting started.  I'm referring to my dissertation, of course.   I really, really, really, really, really, really need to get started.

6.  I don't know if I can/will keep blogging once school starts.  Honestly, teachers' schedules are super, crazy and busy...and I just don't know if I will have the time or energy to keep it up (not that it's that labor intensive...I just don't know what this year has in store for me yet).  School combined with Confession #5 might mean no more blog:(

That's about it.  I'm sitting here trying to decide between yoga and P57.  Oh, how I miss my yoga.  But I know that P57 will make that little place between my outer thigh and my butt hurt like crazy...which is always good.  I'll probably do P57.  I'm making my August workout calendar today...and I will be doing yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I wish that there was a way to put my workout calendar on the blog.  There probably is...but it's more than likely over my head.

Okay...enough babbling.  I need to get this workout finished early...tons to do today!!!


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